The problem with motivation is the need to motivate yourself with someone’s help. Without exaggeration, this is familiar to everyone. One of them is weakly expressed strong-willed qualities. You can, for example, keep yourself in control for a week, refuse sweets, and then make a devastating raid on a candy store and cancel out all your efforts in one fell swoop. You can also have classes in the gym, the desire to stop speaking in raised tones, the desire to reduce the time spent sitting in front of the TV or gambling at Casino Chan, and so on. The abstract goal and the long-term deadlines for achieving it do not fit – the very idea that the desired will be realized only once is depressing. You need to start small: set a goal – to lose 1 kg in 3 weeks, sit at the TV not 6 hours in a row, but 5, scream not 8 times a day, but 7. And then gradually raise the bar so that it is comfortable.
Lack of Self-Acceptance
This refers to the notorious self-love, which is often talked about but rarely understood in what way it is expressed. The main principle is not to punish yourself but to love and accept, becoming your own gentle and caring parent. Be sure to reward yourself for the slightest achievements, and compare yourself not with others. But with yourself yesterday, and more often do what gives real pleasure. Pamper yourself with pleasant little things. It is important to often talk about yourself in a positive way and avoid self-deprecating expressions, and self-irony.
If you shift the focus of perception to yourself, then good habits of respecting your needs will appear. There will be an awareness of your needs at a deep level, which in itself will become a powerful motivation to achieve the goal, whether the goal is to lose weight, change the quality of character, or build your whole life differently.
Self-acceptance means wishing the best for yourself, gaining self-esteem, and when a person becomes the most important in the scenario of his own life, energy is naturally released for transformation – this is the resource that will allow you to change any aspect of life.
The old truth is that as long as we do the same thing with ourselves day after day, we do not know ourselves. It is convenient for us to think of ourselves in a certain way. But then a significant situation happens, and the person shows a reaction of aggression, anger, and fear. Then he becomes ashamed. This is how the true, and not illusory, qualities of a person are revealed.
That is why the fullness of life, self-knowledge, and the maturation of the individual is impossible in solitude and isolation. There are always two in dialogue, whether that is a mother and a child, a husband and a wife, a father with a son, or a boss with a subordinate. Ideally, a person’s life should consist of a series of dialogues or even polylogues, so that he has the opportunity to play a variety of roles and behave in accordance with different strategies. The wider the role map of the personality, the more complete its implementation, which means the more tangible the taste of life.