Everything will not be okay: Teaching pragmatism
Most of us grew up with parents and teachers who taught us everything will be alright. We were always taught to celebrate our wins. We were pitched the glitzy image of adulthood. We were told that if you did all the right things, you will be successful.
Unfortunately, reality isn’t so neat. There will be failures, but we don’t know how to deal with them. Adulthood is messy, and disappointing, and since we weren’t taught the right skills, thus we don’t know how to navigate it. And even if you do everything right, you might still fail.
Thus, when your children are not taught how to navigate with the not-so-pleasant emotions, their conception of reality might then come crashing down. The consequent stress and anxiety do not have a toll on their mental health, but the physical one as well, meriting then an intervention of a Child Specialist in Lahore.
How to teach children to be more pragmatic
Children should have an optimistic worldview but at the same time, should know how to deal with things and circumstances that make them uncomfortable.
They should know that everything will not always work out for them, and that is also okay. Some helpful things to encourage emotional growth in your children include:
Let them learn on their own
You learn from your mistakes. Your brain is programmed to be active when it falters. So, making mistakes is actually a good thing, as it is a precursor for learning.
Hence, whenever your child is making a mistake, let them. Let them fall and rise back up. Let them learn. If you keep protecting them from making a mistake, you are not only hindering their learning and growth, but you are also then giving them the wrong impression that everything will always work out for them, or their parents will not allow them to suffer through any mistake.
Let them handle their emotions
It is understandable for parents to feel distressed when their child is struggling with a sad emotion, but they should not take it upon themselves to cheer the child up. It wrongly signals to the child that there always will be someone to help them deal with the messy emotions.
So, when they are down, do not interfere with their coping mechanism. Allow them to navigate this uncomfortable terrain. Of course, do guide them; for example, you may tell them how you like crafts or reading to destress, and they might likewise explore into activities that they like to unwind, but don’t offer to go shopping with them or cook them meals to cheer them up.
Validate their feelings
Many adults are in the habit of invalidating or scoffing at the problems that affect children. Just because their problems are less significant to you, that does not mean they are inconsequential for the children too.
So, whenever your children express distraught of any sort, help them in dealing with these feelings in a healthy fashion. For example, if they are upset over losing a race, don’t tell them it’s unimportant, but teach them how failure is a learning opportunity. Healthy processing of the information allows your children to deal with a wider range of circumstances and problems.
It’s okay to be uncomfortable
There will be things that your child doesn’t want to do, but rather than giving them the leeway not to do the uncomfortable things, encourage them to pursue them, nonetheless.
If your child will not push at their limits and do things that are necessary but uncomfortable, they won’t not be equipped to handle adulthood and the plethora of problems that it brings.
We all have to deal with several difficult things and if we don’t have the fortitude to handle them, our mental health will suffer greatly, and may even require the intervention of experts at Islamabad Specialists Clinic.
